I have to write about this so I can internalize it…..I really don’t know where this post is going to end as I’m starting to write it, so please bear with me. Hopefully getting this issue typed out will help me and you by the end of it.
I am subscribed to Tony Robbins New Money Masters….I signed up for the Elite package…for $106 / month, I get a video and DVD and website access with exclusive invites to webinars where we can interact with those people Tony has interviewed that month. There are also candid interviews with Tony in the elite members website. I finally got around to listening to Tony being interviewed by Mike Koenigs. This has lead to me thinking about my ‘internal game’….and frankly I’m pissed off at myself.
I’ve really put the breaks on in my life. I’ve done what ever is easiest to get by since we closed our first business and lost a lot of money. I’ve let the damn IRS get me down with their notifications about how much I owe them in back taxes. Last year, I lost 15 lbs, only to put it all back on and then some. (fortunately, I’m on a serious diet prescribed by the Dr and I’ve lost 7 lbs in the last week). BUT DAMN IT THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
I’m billing a nice rate at a VERY easy client….easy steady money and I’m not working hard. But the people I have to deal with are all of the EMPLOYEE mindset and it drives me nuts…..but not enough to leave the client. That’s horrible! I’m not giving them my all only because I need to pay off the rest of the damn back taxes!
Additionally, I’m always looking for entertainment….break.com, liveleak.com, facebook.com, i-am-bored.com, failjunkies.com……how many freakin websites do I visit a day / week / month….. what a waste of my time! Even now that I’m back on my journey to financial freedom, I’m still wasting time. I regret it terribly already….I’m morbidly upset with myself as I think about it.
I know why…..I’ve been a good consultant for many years and I’ve only been billing by the hour. So, the better I get at consulting, the quicker I can solve a problem and the more time I have on my hands while I’m only able to bill by the hour. So, I fill those hours with HORRIBLE habits instead of constantly looking for quality thoughts to nourish me. How stupid!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Damn it, I’m sick of where I live, how I live and the standard of living I’ve achieved. More importantly, I’m sick of not growing & learning and I’m disgusted that I’m not contributing more to the world! I’m pissed off that I’m not on top of my game even more.
I WANT A BETTER LIFE! I don’t care what others think of me for wanting more. As far as I know, I’m only going to visit this planet once, so I want to get everything I can out of this life! The worst part about this…I’ve let me and my emotions drive me to where I am….complacency. It’s just pathetic!
You may have seen the goals I posted on the other page at this site. They’re there, but I don’t visit them every day and I certainly didn’t have a HUNGER in me when I wrote them. I’m hungry again for life and DAMMIT I’m going make some changes!
I want to get financially free!
I want to encourage others to find their passions!
I want to have an impact on this world.
It’s time to stop the bad habits:
1) wasting time watching non-sense & feeding my brain with crap
2) letting myself feel sorry for losing so much $$ on the first business
3) being emotionally weak by letting myself be complacent with my productivity, my health and my relationships!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! It’s time to turn in on full speed!!!
There is more out there in life and I WILL NOT SETTLE!!!!